Christmas day, and am I on a plane to visit my family? Am I meeting BIG AL in Boston to have fun? Nope...got a NASTY bruised foot instead! Silver lining: I'm with Rogol and Norman, two of my favorites :), drinking mimosas and eating shrimp cocktail. It's warm and sunny in San Diego, just wish I could get out and enjoy it!
Hopefully I will be able to heal in time to train for two upcoming 1/2 marathons I'd like to take one! One at the Wild Animal Park in March, the other the treacherous La Jolla Half!
Thinking of you!
xoxo
December 25, 2010
November 26, 2010
big al is back a-bloggin!!
hey girls!!
sorry i have been out of commission so long, blog-wise...i get into work and songwriting mode and block out everything else!
so MY mushy ass has been running the treadmill and doing 100 crunches 3-5 times a week...i am finally lookin hot again. subsequently, a guy caught my eye at work and now i am obsessed. OBSESSED!!! I have a love-hate affair with myself when i get this way. I go for the bad boys and this guy is no exception. he never gave me the time of day until recently, but now we have this "thing" going on...i want him!! and boy am i enjoying the flirting and shit-talking that only a jersey boy can provide. : ) Lovin my roots for once. The other thing about him - he is an artist, he went through some tough years (let's say he earned his street cred in my book - jail anyone??) and he and i have a lot in common (except for the street cred.)
Kate i really appreciate you sort of letting go about rogol on here. i know that's tough for you. i think when i am in the middle of a storm, rather than praying for quick fixes or answers i look for clarity and honesty within myself and things tend to work out. I believe you are on the right track!
ALLLLLLLL who are you gonna live with? part of me wants to move back to sd, but not before i spend a year in LA. Perhhhhhaps.....Jjjjjjjjjjjjjjaime??????
well this has been a clusterf*ck of thoughts....i will be back to write more.
XOXOXOXOXO
November 20, 2010
Ahhh Saturday
Run done.
House clean.
Shower taken.
Happy to be on Thanksgiving vacation. :)
Feeling thankful for having the resources and support to go through hard times and be able to help myself.
Rob and I are communicating better, and I am able to see how I can be bossy and push his buttons. :) I like learning about myself regardless how uncomfortable it is at times to see your own faults.
House clean.
Shower taken.
Happy to be on Thanksgiving vacation. :)
Feeling thankful for having the resources and support to go through hard times and be able to help myself.
Rob and I are communicating better, and I am able to see how I can be bossy and push his buttons. :) I like learning about myself regardless how uncomfortable it is at times to see your own faults.
November 14, 2010
Finally...A Quiet Moment
It feels like I haven't had a quiet moment at home in the last few weeks....Various "to-do's" and emotions to feel without some time to digest it all. When it rains, it pours, and I must be learning to deal with many things at once it would seem. Thank goodness for the appt with my new therapist last week. It came just in time to help me sort out relationship stuff, health questions, work stressors, all the while trying to re-establish healthy exercise habits in my life again. I've realized I've got to take one thing at a time here and not push myself to take on more than I can handle.
It turns out this little blog I created was just what the doctor ordered...literally! Gail (my therapist) gave me some literature to read about my personality type...turns out emotionally reflecting on the events of my life is exactly what I'm wired to avoid. By putting my to-do list aside for a little while, and making the time to reflect a bit I can sort through all the emotional stuff of life and help my soul evolve. :)
Feeling multiple emotions at once is hard to make sense of and makes my chest feel tight...I keep reminding myself to breathe deep full breaths.
Right now there are several areas of my life "under construction" ~ my own personal growth and evolution of my soul; my family and our subsequent medical history stuff that is rearing up right now; my relationship with Rob which is totally intertwined with my personal growth stuff; work stressors like report cards and conferences.
I'm doing what I feel like I can manage emotionally right now. I don't feel like this is a time when I can pick up my torch and blaze through them all simultaneously. It is really hard to admit I don't feel like I have the hutspa to take them all on right now. Even though I know it's not how the world sees me, I feel like admitting that makes me vulnerable and weak somehow.
I've made an appointment with my primary care doctor to discuss the vein in my leg and family history of brain aneurysms on Monday the 22nd. While really stressful to think about (since going to the doctor to begin with makes me feel anxious), I have 20 parent/teacher conferences to prep for and complete this week. Thank goodness for the 2nd appt. with Gail on Monday afternoon. She's going to give me a "tool" to use when I'm feeling anxious (like I am right now) about things...
And then there's my relationship with Rob...
So many different thoughts, feelings, and decisions are inter-connected in this one. For now, I'm content with the decisions I've made to stay put while I sort out the family medical stuff, and explore the therapist's work on my own and what we do together. I wonder and hope that we can each grow enough to stop our own role in the pattern we've created. THIS is the big question I think.
Man, these moments for self-reflection really stir up some emotions...I suppose a few tears in the process is a healthy release. :)
I hope you girls don't think I've gone totally batty...I appreciate the safe place to dump my emotional worries for the time being.
xoxo
It turns out this little blog I created was just what the doctor ordered...literally! Gail (my therapist) gave me some literature to read about my personality type...turns out emotionally reflecting on the events of my life is exactly what I'm wired to avoid. By putting my to-do list aside for a little while, and making the time to reflect a bit I can sort through all the emotional stuff of life and help my soul evolve. :)
Feeling multiple emotions at once is hard to make sense of and makes my chest feel tight...I keep reminding myself to breathe deep full breaths.
Right now there are several areas of my life "under construction" ~ my own personal growth and evolution of my soul; my family and our subsequent medical history stuff that is rearing up right now; my relationship with Rob which is totally intertwined with my personal growth stuff; work stressors like report cards and conferences.
I'm doing what I feel like I can manage emotionally right now. I don't feel like this is a time when I can pick up my torch and blaze through them all simultaneously. It is really hard to admit I don't feel like I have the hutspa to take them all on right now. Even though I know it's not how the world sees me, I feel like admitting that makes me vulnerable and weak somehow.
I've made an appointment with my primary care doctor to discuss the vein in my leg and family history of brain aneurysms on Monday the 22nd. While really stressful to think about (since going to the doctor to begin with makes me feel anxious), I have 20 parent/teacher conferences to prep for and complete this week. Thank goodness for the 2nd appt. with Gail on Monday afternoon. She's going to give me a "tool" to use when I'm feeling anxious (like I am right now) about things...
And then there's my relationship with Rob...
So many different thoughts, feelings, and decisions are inter-connected in this one. For now, I'm content with the decisions I've made to stay put while I sort out the family medical stuff, and explore the therapist's work on my own and what we do together. I wonder and hope that we can each grow enough to stop our own role in the pattern we've created. THIS is the big question I think.
Man, these moments for self-reflection really stir up some emotions...I suppose a few tears in the process is a healthy release. :)
I hope you girls don't think I've gone totally batty...I appreciate the safe place to dump my emotional worries for the time being.
xoxo
October 25, 2010
Failure and success!!
I'm a failure because my soft mushy ass has NOT swam or even been on a brisk walk in months!! Pathetic. I must find the motivation!! But I'm SO slammed with work right now... a zillion weddings to process and album work for the maui guy! Not that I'm complaining about work which I'm not :) Just so busy!
This past weekend was my last wedding of 2010! It was a good year with about 20 weddings! I'm already booked for 10 weddings in 2011 so hopefully I'll have 30 for the year, that will be my goal :) Thanks to Kate for all her help this season- I'm liking that she's been bit my the photog bug and is thinking if getting more into it on a professional maybe career level! How fun we would have as a wedding photog two-some both making more $$- I'm talking high end people!! Not really though.. I like my clients like us- cute and trying to pay for their own weddings :) There's always room for someone to take on the wedding coordinating position at Alexandra Oat Photography :) Kate and I find we need one at every wedding!! Maybe we can change the name to Alex & Kate Photography down the road if we go big time!!!
Let's see issue of the day is living situation- my current roomie Kadie in 3 months has slept @ our house maybe 5 times. So she needs to move in w/ her BF and I need to move my cats back East! STAT! Where shall I live? Who with? Hmmmm lots of possibilities! (sorry Al LA is not in the cards!)
Ahhhhh I almost forgot to mention the success of my week!! I lost a brides photos- 2 hours from my camera of her getting dressed, bridal party, groomsmen, bride & groom solo pics, and family photos!! OMG!! nightmare!!! Thank goodness for kate!!! She saved the wedding by having kick ass photos. I was so worried the bride was going to blab on the internet about this and ruin my name- I'd have to change the name to Alex & Kate Photography just to get by!!! Ha!!! But she wrote me back today that she's ok with it. I offered to make her a album for free and she said that was a nice gesture and she understands accidents happen :) THANK GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So happy - it's been hunting my dreams!!! Well I'm @ a coffee shop try to book another wedding :) Wish me luck!
Allllll what happened w/ the guy from Deb's wedding??!?! Call me!!
Lee-ler & Mands... ummm can you get on the blog train!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xoxooxooxoxo
This past weekend was my last wedding of 2010! It was a good year with about 20 weddings! I'm already booked for 10 weddings in 2011 so hopefully I'll have 30 for the year, that will be my goal :) Thanks to Kate for all her help this season- I'm liking that she's been bit my the photog bug and is thinking if getting more into it on a professional maybe career level! How fun we would have as a wedding photog two-some both making more $$- I'm talking high end people!! Not really though.. I like my clients like us- cute and trying to pay for their own weddings :) There's always room for someone to take on the wedding coordinating position at Alexandra Oat Photography :) Kate and I find we need one at every wedding!! Maybe we can change the name to Alex & Kate Photography down the road if we go big time!!!
Let's see issue of the day is living situation- my current roomie Kadie in 3 months has slept @ our house maybe 5 times. So she needs to move in w/ her BF and I need to move my cats back East! STAT! Where shall I live? Who with? Hmmmm lots of possibilities! (sorry Al LA is not in the cards!)
Ahhhhh I almost forgot to mention the success of my week!! I lost a brides photos- 2 hours from my camera of her getting dressed, bridal party, groomsmen, bride & groom solo pics, and family photos!! OMG!! nightmare!!! Thank goodness for kate!!! She saved the wedding by having kick ass photos. I was so worried the bride was going to blab on the internet about this and ruin my name- I'd have to change the name to Alex & Kate Photography just to get by!!! Ha!!! But she wrote me back today that she's ok with it. I offered to make her a album for free and she said that was a nice gesture and she understands accidents happen :) THANK GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So happy - it's been hunting my dreams!!! Well I'm @ a coffee shop try to book another wedding :) Wish me luck!
Allllll what happened w/ the guy from Deb's wedding??!?! Call me!!
Lee-ler & Mands... ummm can you get on the blog train!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xoxooxooxoxo
October 16, 2010
The Week is Done
This past week has been one of the best at work. My kiddos were all happy and enjoying school. Personally, I made a website and went to yoga twice....Good things happening. I feel light and positive...It's a nice feeling. On the other side of the coin, Rogie is struggling with some of the same work challenges. Its hard to not be able to just reach into his life and fix it for him. So, I am trying to put my own feelings of positivity and optimism for life out there and hope it permeates him. It did last night for sure...I could feel his tension ease as we walked Norman in the evening.
I don't think life is ever free and easy like I thought it would eventually become. Looking back over my twenties, I definitely thought that by the time I had rounded the corner into my early 30's I wouldn't have hard struggles or challenges anymore, that I would have worked all that stuff out and life would just cruise forward. Oh how wrong I was! Ha! With 32, a week from tomorrow I am beginning to re-examine parts of my life and set some new goals for myself...More on that later!
Healthy mind/body goals for the weekend - run twice...Pound the pavement, get a good sweat on, clear my head of all thoughts, and rock out to the music on my pod.
Happy Weekend!
xoxox
I don't think life is ever free and easy like I thought it would eventually become. Looking back over my twenties, I definitely thought that by the time I had rounded the corner into my early 30's I wouldn't have hard struggles or challenges anymore, that I would have worked all that stuff out and life would just cruise forward. Oh how wrong I was! Ha! With 32, a week from tomorrow I am beginning to re-examine parts of my life and set some new goals for myself...More on that later!
Healthy mind/body goals for the weekend - run twice...Pound the pavement, get a good sweat on, clear my head of all thoughts, and rock out to the music on my pod.
Happy Weekend!
xoxox
October 13, 2010
Saw Brett today...
being fellow new jersey residents within close distance, i have seen brett penedos a few times, and i saw him today. he looked great and fully made fun of me, which gave me a tiny glimmer of a crush back on him. hahahaha!!! He is married to a hot brazilian chick!! : ) Go Penedork!!
I also am in deborah's wedding this weekend, and she is attempting to hook me up- i looked at him on fb - hot bod, good looking, cocky as hell, bring it on!! ; )
xoxoxoxo
BIG AL will report back.
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