Failure and success!!

I'm a failure because my soft mushy ass has NOT swam or even been on a brisk walk in months!! Pathetic. I must find the motivation!! But I'm SO slammed with work right now... a zillion weddings to process and album work for the maui guy! Not that I'm complaining about work which I'm not :) Just so busy!

 This past weekend was my last wedding of 2010! It was a good year with about 20 weddings! I'm already booked for 10 weddings in 2011 so hopefully I'll have 30 for the year, that will be my goal :) Thanks to Kate for all her help this season- I'm liking that she's been bit my the photog bug and is thinking if getting more into it on a professional maybe career level! How fun we would have as a wedding photog two-some both making more $$- I'm talking high end people!! Not really though.. I like my clients like us- cute and trying to pay for their own weddings :) There's always room for someone to take on the wedding coordinating position at Alexandra Oat Photography :) Kate and I find we need one at every wedding!! Maybe we can change the name to Alex & Kate Photography down the road if we go big time!!!
Let's see issue of the day is living situation- my current roomie Kadie in 3 months has slept @ our house maybe 5 times. So she needs to move in w/ her BF and I need to move my cats back East! STAT! Where shall I live? Who with? Hmmmm lots of possibilities! (sorry Al LA is not in the cards!)

Ahhhhh I almost forgot to mention the success of my week!! I lost a brides photos- 2 hours from my camera of her getting dressed, bridal party, groomsmen, bride & groom solo pics, and family photos!! OMG!! nightmare!!! Thank goodness for kate!!! She saved the wedding by having kick ass photos. I was so worried the bride was going to blab on the internet about this and ruin my name- I'd have to change the name to Alex & Kate Photography just to get by!!! Ha!!! But she wrote me back today that she's ok with it. I offered to make her a album for free and she said that was  a nice gesture and she understands accidents happen :) THANK GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So happy - it's been hunting my dreams!!! Well I'm @ a coffee shop try to book another wedding :) Wish me luck!
Allllll what happened w/ the guy from Deb's wedding??!?! Call me!!
Lee-ler & Mands... ummm can you get on the blog train!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxooxooxoxo

The Week is Done

This past week has been one of the best at work.  My kiddos were all happy and enjoying school.  Personally, I made a website and went to yoga twice....Good things happening.  I feel light and positive...It's a nice feeling.  On the other side of the coin, Rogie is struggling with some of the same work challenges.  Its hard to not be able to just reach into his life and fix it for him.  So, I am trying to put my own feelings of positivity and optimism for life out there and hope it permeates him.  It did last night for sure...I could feel his tension ease as we walked Norman in the evening. 

I don't think life is ever free and easy like I thought it would eventually become.  Looking back over my twenties, I definitely thought that by the time I had rounded the corner into my early 30's I wouldn't have hard struggles or challenges anymore, that I would have worked all that stuff out and life would just cruise forward.  Oh how wrong I was!  Ha!  With 32, a week from tomorrow I am beginning to re-examine parts of my life and set some new goals for myself...More on that later!

Healthy mind/body goals for the weekend - run twice...Pound the pavement, get a good sweat on, clear my head of all thoughts, and rock out to the music on my pod.

Happy Weekend!
xoxox

Saw Brett today...

being fellow new jersey residents within close distance, i have seen brett penedos a few times, and i saw him today. he looked great and fully made fun of me, which gave me a tiny glimmer of a crush back on him. hahahaha!!! He is married to a hot brazilian chick!! : ) Go Penedork!!

I also am in deborah's wedding this weekend, and she is attempting to hook me up- i looked at him on fb - hot bod, good looking, cocky as hell, bring it on!! ; )

xoxoxoxo

BIG AL will report back.

I Am Not Most!

Girls,

I am so excited to come back to california!!! i just got off the phone with chip, and that always raises my spirits. i found a great job that will net me travel and moving money, i am drug-free and feeling good (except balonification of course) and i am beginning to appreciate and see in a new light many of the struggles i have endured since i have been here. i feel tough as nails right now. i overcame a move in a faithful whim to pursue a dream, which resulted in nearly two years of complete loner time - at my parents' house. Me, myself, i, no boyfriend, no besties, and a ton of demons. Girls - IT WAS NOT PRETTY. i have seen my darkest days, and it forced me to find spirit again, and now i am beginning to feel the engine rev up - YEAHH!!!!! I may even make out with adam levine from maroon 5!!! just need to make it to the awards show!! : )

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And That Has Made all the Difference. "

This NDE Story Moved Me Like Crazy - Beautiful!!

The following is an example of a near-death experience, by a man named John Star, which was triggered by the process of death. His near-death experience also appears in Kevin Williams' book, Nothing Better Than Death.

One day, without any warning, John Star found himself face to face with the fact that life in this world is terminal. He was swimming in Lake Michigan about half a mile offshore when he got in trouble. He was swimming free style, like he had done at swimming competitions, when he turned his head to breathe and inhaled water from an oncoming wave. His lungs were full of water when he wondered if he could swim half a mile at top speed without breathing. He tried. What resulted was an extraordinary near-death experience and a miraculous return to life. Here is the account of his near-death experience:

---

I had only gone a few yards when my head began to buzz and I felt dizzy. A few yards more and I heard a loud snap. Suddenly the world was calm and clear. I could see the shoreline, still in the distance and noticed the sun shining overhead. It seemed brighter than usual. When I looked down I got the surprise of my life. There was my body, still swimming toward shore, moving as straight and smooth as a motor boat. I watched for a while, indifferent to the plight of my body. I was far more concerned with trying to figure out where I was.

I noticed a light coming from somewhere behind me. It was a peculiar light. It had feeling. When I turned to see where this light was coming from, it would remain behind me. Somehow though, I managed to get turned around so I could look right into the light.

The light was delicious. I soaked it up like a dry sponge soaks up water. I felt like I had been sealed up in a vacuum packed jar for as long as I could remember. Now the jar was opened and the pressure was gone. I could breathe again. I could feel energy flowing into me, loosening and softening parts of my being that I did not even know I had. My whole being thrilled with well-being and joy. A feeling that I had known before, though I could not remember where or when.

Time itself seemed to be softening. For as long as I could remember, the minutes, days and years of my life seemed to be fixed, like the markings on a steel ruler. Now, the measuring stick of time was becoming soft and flexible. It would stretch and shrink, like a rubber band. I could return to events of my past, examining them with greater clarity and detail than when they had originally happened, lingering there for what seemed like hours. But then, when I would return to where I was, it seemed like no time at all had gone by. Back and forth I went. Deep into episodes of my personal history, and then back into the light.

Time could also be contracted, I found. Centuries would condense into seconds. Millenniums would shrink into moments. The entire civilization that I was part of passed by in the blink of an eye.

"Look at that," I marveled. "The whole civilization is no more permanent and no more important that a patch of wild flowers! It's so simple from here, and so beautiful. Whether it is a patch of wild flowers or a mighty civilization, the process is the same. It is only life, trying out different shapes and then returning from where it came."

I was being pulled into the light. Or was it that the world and the life that I knew was receding, the life that I had come to assume was the only life there is. All of my certainties and all of my doubts, all of my pride and all of my guilt, all of my pleasures and all of my fears, were all fading away. All that remained was the light and the awesome feeling of well-being that the light contained. It felt like I was waking up, like I had been in a deep sleep, dreaming an intense and detailed dream when somebody came into the room and turned on the lights. Now I was waking up and the dream was fading away.

As my sleepy eyes slowly became adjusted to the brilliant radiance, I could make out shapes in the light. There were people there! People that I knew and loved. The place was completely familiar, as though I had been there just a few moments before.

"Did you have a nice rest?" one of my friends asked.

My other friends broke out into roaring laughter. They were making a joke. They all knew what a grueling ordeal such ventures into the material world can be. They had all made such ventures themselves, many times before. I joined in the laughter. How good it felt to laugh so freely. How strange, to be so open, and yet it was all so familiar. I was totally alive again - an aliveness that was beyond beginning and ending - an aliveness that was eternal.

The world that I had entered was now as solid and real as the world that I had left behind, but the light was still visible. It was a living light. It had vitality and feeling. It was focused in every living thing just as the sun can be focused to a point with a magnifying glass. There were colors, too, not only the colors that I had known on Earth but many octaves of color. Surrounding all my friends and every other living thing was color, arranged in intricate geometrical patterns, each pattern unique, every pattern original. Permeating the colors and patterns was sound, countless octaves of sound. It was as though the colors could be heard. It reminded me of bagpipes. Filling the entire region were the droning sounds. Octave upon octave of invigorating, vitalizing sound. It was very subtle, practically imperceptible but immense, it seemed to reach to infinity. Superimposed on this vast life-giving hum was the melody, which was created by the individual sound of every living thing. Light and sound, color and geometrical patterns were all combined into a totality of harmonic perfection.

It seemed like years had gone by. There was no way to tell, though, whether it had been minutes, hours or years. Where I was now, be-ing was the only reality. Be-ing, which was inseparable from the moment, inseparable from the eternal NOW, inseparable from the life that was in all other beings. Even though this place was as solid and real as the world I left behind, time and space was not an obstacle.

To an animal, a closed door is an insurmountable obstacle. They do not have the faculties necessary to overcome such a barrier. In the world that I had left behind, time and space were just such an insurmountable obstacle. I did not have the faculties necessary to overcome such a barrier. Now I was free, like an animal that had learned how to work a doorknob. I could go in and out of worlds without getting stuck. I could stay inside as long as I wanted. I could become acquainted with people that lived there and get to know their particular customs and their curious opinions, conclusions and beliefs. Then I could leave that world and return to a world without end - a place where there were no opinions, conclusions, or beliefs. It was a place where there was only be-ing, a place of awesome beauty and joy, a place of total harmonic perfection.

Images of my former life began to flicker in my mind. Fleeting images at first, but now they were growing stronger and clearer. Visions of people who were dear to me that I had left behind. Visions of things I wanted to see and things I had wanted to do. From somewhere deep within my being, a powerful voice welled up:

"You have seen enough of eternity. It's not time yet for you to stay. Return now to the Land of Shadows where the mortal creatures play and be a puff of dust in the wind without being blown away."

Whoooshshsssss, whoooshshsssss.

I raised my head to see what was making that sound. It was tiny wavelets breaking along the edge of a mirror-still lake, rattling the small pebbles that lined the shore. I was laying in the sand on the shore of Lake Michigan, just a few inches from the water. I felt good, like I just had the best rest that I had ever had.

my first friendship blog....

I'm nerding out with Kate and she reminded me to get on the blog!! Sooooo I've been out of town- it feels like for 2 months! I had fun on the East Coast in all the places I went. Maybe I'll post some pics later in my blogging efforts! Each spot was so pretty!!

This week I'd like to get back to swimming. I spent some time in a bathing suit on the beach- I was very soft and slightly wider than normal on the beach..errrrrrrrr :) So back in the pool I go!!!

I hope to get insprired and start an accountablily section on the blog.

Any one who wants in...(I'm starting baby steps)
3 days of exercise this week::: Starting today!! Ends next Sunday!
Loser buys coffee.

 As the weeks pass I'd like to increase # of days and change up the challenge steaks!

Looking to the weekend I have a crap ton of things to do! 3 weddings!! And I'm putting 6 photographs in an Art Show fruitofthesoul.org/ . Can't wait till Halloween weekend when I'm free of weddings till Feburay!! WAHOOOOO!

Not sure if this is what the blog is for? Tell you ladies what I'm up to? Here what you're up to!? And also get some inspiration in life and fitness (SO dorky right now~!)

Last note:::: Oprah is having all the Sound of Music kids on her annoying show soon! Keep a look out- maybe Gayork will be there to!! I wonder what age Leisel will be whinning about??? FUN!!!! It's end of October- I'll try and score details...
"The hills are alive again 45 years later, this time on the small screen.

Harpo Productions says the entire cast of the 1965 Academy Award-winning movie musical "The Sound of Music" will appear Friday, Oct. 29, on "The Oprah Winfrey Show."

That includes stars Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer. Andrews had non-cancerous throat nodules removed in 1997, an operation that initially left her unable to sing. She will not sing on the TV program. (SO SAD)

The show will include a performance from the singing group The von Trapp Children, which features members of the real von Trapp family.

Sunday evening footbal...a little boring.  Finding ways to entertain myself ;)

7 ~ Do something that makes you sweat.

I went out for a run after cleaning the house and editing some photos this morning.  It was hot and sunny without much relief from the sun in the way of shade!  What I loved about the run was the total body challenge it became because of the heat.  My temp was up, my limbs were heavy, and I had to work hard to control my breathing.  As I was rounding towards the end, I realized that in an effort to do one healthy habit off the list, I was also working on several others!

1 ~ If you can successfully change one bad habit, you're likely to change another.

3 ~ Sometimes all it takes to get through a tough time is a single, powerful word. (aka a mantra)

6 ~ While you can't shut out illness entirely, you can make your body a place where health thrives.

8 ~ Embrace frayed edges, worn pages, and laugh lines.  True beauty lies in imperfection.

Go me!

10 Thoughts on Healthy Mind/Body Habits

Some of these ideas resonate with me more than others right now, but I can definitely feel back in time a bit and see that at one time or another these ideas all had a place in my current events. :)

From Whole Living magazine...

1 ~ If you can successfully change one bad habit, you're likely to change another.

2 ~ Don't assume you know what someone needs you to do. Ask.

3 ~ Sometimes all it takes to get through a tough time is a single, powerful word. (aka a mantra)

4 ~ Be courageous enough to listen to the truth.

5 ~ When you shine a light on a negative thought, IT LOSES ITS POWER.

6 ~ While you can't shut out illness entirely, you can make your body a place where health thrives.

7 ~ Do something that makes you sweat.

8 ~ Embrace frayed edges, worn pages, and laugh lines.  True beauty lies in imperfection.

9 ~ Remind a loved one that they are not alone.

10 ~ Learning to love requires as much openness as it does strength.

Monday Morning

How many more Mondays like this? Alarm goes off in my head, I open my eyes, it's 7:30am and my schedule is unstructured and uncertain, kind of like me! It's crazy because I think back to when I had structure and order, and I remember during that time I had plenty of uncertainty too, because I felt like I was stuck in some kind of life template that didn't suit me.

It's easy for me to dwell on the fact that i miss California, my friends, my social life, palm trees, California, and California... : ) I have done plenty of dwelling and aching in that arena, while ignoring the pretty incredible things that I have experienced since I left. So I am taking Kate's direction and instead of dwelling and downing, I am going to be grateful and excited!

Things I am Grateful For Since I left California:

1. My family, as much as it sucks living with parents, I couldn't have asked for more love and support.

2. My first cd of songs I wrote myself, which was such a personal accomplishment!

3. Learning to be an ok guitar player in one year! No more Kulinski! : ) Good old Kulinski!

4. The night I hung out with Kate Voegele

5. Working with successful inspiring people who have "mastered" the music industry, and getting positive feedback from them

6. Being pushed to the darkest, most fearful corners in my mind - if I can face them I can overcome them!

7. Fuzzy - my orange little angel

8. Realizing how lucky I am that my best friends are my family, that I have them to cry and bitch to!

9. Chip

10. How much I am going to love going back to California - it will almost be as incredible as that January 15 at age 24.

11. This blog and Grawsky's morning inspiration

There is plenty more, I could go on and on....I never realized how many things I have to be thankful for!!

I will keep these things in my mind when I am auto-tuning to pain and suffering today...time to change the station! I think to a west coast one. ; )

What channel are you changing to? How long are you going to flip through the stations?

xoxoxoxoxo

Learning to be ME

Monday Monday

Ugh...Woke up feeling unenthusiastic and wanting to sleep more...BUT I checked my email as I always do in the morning (while waiting for my hair to dry) and found I got a message late last night about my yoga class starting today!  So that's three good things I'll do for mind and body this week!

Things are looking up!

What do you have planned for enriching your mind and body this week?

xoxo
Kate

Things I Feel Thankful For:

smelling the salty air at the beach this afternoon
sharing a conversation with a friend in the quiet of Sunday morning
a clean house
a clean dog :)

My Weekend

I recommitted myself to taking care of my health and well-being yesterday.  I ran my old loop through the Grape St. Dog Park and home through South Park.  I ran the hills with strength and determination!  It felt great to work my body and push my way up those hills.  I want to get back out there today.  I didn't even realize how much I missed getting the blood pumping and sweating.  Lisa and I are meeting on Wednesday at Torrey Pines...I'm really looking forward to hiking a beautiful place with a great friend who inspires me. 

Amanda and Alex I hope you are able to join us. 

Alison, I hope you find a time to get out into the crisp Fall weather for a jog...enjoy the foliage and tell me all about itsky!

With love, Kate